Eulogy for my Dad -- Oct 2002
No other person has had as much influence or impact on my life as my Daddy, Chet Wilk. For these 45 years of my life he has been: - a constant source of strength - a constant source of love - a constant source of example
Rarely known as “Chester”, except by “his nun”, Sister Marion,
Generally known as the no-nonsense “Chet” by his friends and associates,
“Choo-Choo Pop Pop” to his youngest grandchildren.
Hardest working man I’ve even seen, yet the most adamant that a man’s work is just a small part of a quality life. Toughest man I’ve even known, yet a softy around small children and an overgrown kid when he met Donald Duck.
When I was young, my Dad wasn’t willing or able to make a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich for himself. Yet, on a visit to Carolina a few years ago, I watched him happily preparing the weekly menu, doing the shopping and cooking complete, wonderful meals. Instead of talking about sports, or shooting, or trains, or music, or the events of the day, we went late into the night, out on the back porch, drinking coffee and swapping recipes and cooking hints.
A boy who grew up in Newark and found peace, joy and friendships on his mountain in S.W. Carolina. Chet may have quit school after 10th grade, but he was always respected and often sought for his wise counsel and advice. And, to share a little from last weeks service in Carolina… many of Dad’s friends shared this comment: “Your daddy was a Yankee, but he was OUR Yankee and a wonderful fella.”
A man who believed ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, yet a man who appreciated the power of words – especially as he devoured his library of books or held forth a provocative conversation deep into the wee hours.
My Dad may have thought his life was over when his first wife (my momma, Lois) passed away. But, he found a new life, new purpose and renewed joy in his wonderful, loving relationship with Ilona.
There are so many images and stories. I know only a few. I hope as this service continues, we’ll celebrate Chet’s life by sharing many.
Chet, the 19 year old boy beaming as he carries his first born son into an all-night diner in Cranford at 2 in the morning and passing “Butch” around to all his pals.
Chet, the 61 year old grandfather, again beaming with pride and joy as he plays trains with his youngest grandsons – Dylan and Jake.
Chet, the 26 year old family man, working 2 jobs and catching a few hours sleep by napping on the kitchen floor after dinner (at our home in Roselle Park). The “sleeping giant”, being woke-up by his kids as they gently shook his shoulders and said “Cheddar Cheese… time to get up…”
Chet, lighting a fresh cigar as he starts to re-tell the story of how Frank Sinatra wanted to buy one of his trains and he wouldn’t sell.
Chet, sick and frail in his hospital bed on a Sunday morning this past August, looking over to me with a smile and telling me in a deliberate tone “I’m gonna start beating this thing on Wednesday.” To which I answered with my best Chet impression – “What the heck are you waiting ‘til Wednesday for?”
At the memorial service last week, in North Carolina, a wonderful woman stood up and shared that Chet was her “guardian angel”. You see, this woman was married to a man who contracted ALS – Lou Gehrigs Disease. And, that’s a very harsh, difficult illness for both the victim and the spouse. And, in this case, Jim liked to hunt and shoot and be in the outdoors. The debilitating nature of his illness was making that impossible until Dad starting taking Jim to the Trap Range. That gave Jim a chance to again do something he loved and be out with the boys. And it gave his wife, Bev, a chance to regroup herself and regain her strength for the difficult fight to care and support her beloved husband.
So, to all the young people here today, I would like to suggest that throughout your life, you can change and grow and make the world a better place by your actions. Chet’s life stands as an example to that. And, you can best honor my Daddy, Chet, by doing the following in your lives: Grow up to stand on your own two feet, so strong that when needed, you can carry others upon your shoulders. That will remind us all of Chet, at his best.
Chet:
A good son to his parents,A good brother to his sister and brother,
A good father to his kids – ALL his kids,
A great grandfather to his grandkids,
A fine husband – Twice,
A good buddy – Always.
For Dad memorial services:
- Brevard NC 10/27/02
- New Jersey 11/02/02
Rarely known as “Chester”, except by “his nun”, Sister Marion,
Generally known as the no-nonsense “Chet” by his friends and associates,
“Choo-Choo Pop Pop” to his youngest grandchildren.
Hardest working man I’ve even seen, yet the most adamant that a man’s work is just a small part of a quality life. Toughest man I’ve even known, yet a softy around small children and an overgrown kid when he met Donald Duck.
When I was young, my Dad wasn’t willing or able to make a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich for himself. Yet, on a visit to Carolina a few years ago, I watched him happily preparing the weekly menu, doing the shopping and cooking complete, wonderful meals. Instead of talking about sports, or shooting, or trains, or music, or the events of the day, we went late into the night, out on the back porch, drinking coffee and swapping recipes and cooking hints.
A boy who grew up in Newark and found peace, joy and friendships on his mountain in S.W. Carolina. Chet may have quit school after 10th grade, but he was always respected and often sought for his wise counsel and advice. And, to share a little from last weeks service in Carolina… many of Dad’s friends shared this comment: “Your daddy was a Yankee, but he was OUR Yankee and a wonderful fella.”
A man who believed ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, yet a man who appreciated the power of words – especially as he devoured his library of books or held forth a provocative conversation deep into the wee hours.
My Dad may have thought his life was over when his first wife (my momma, Lois) passed away. But, he found a new life, new purpose and renewed joy in his wonderful, loving relationship with Ilona.
There are so many images and stories. I know only a few. I hope as this service continues, we’ll celebrate Chet’s life by sharing many.
Chet, the 19 year old boy beaming as he carries his first born son into an all-night diner in Cranford at 2 in the morning and passing “Butch” around to all his pals.
Chet, the 61 year old grandfather, again beaming with pride and joy as he plays trains with his youngest grandsons – Dylan and Jake.
Chet, the 26 year old family man, working 2 jobs and catching a few hours sleep by napping on the kitchen floor after dinner (at our home in Roselle Park). The “sleeping giant”, being woke-up by his kids as they gently shook his shoulders and said “Cheddar Cheese… time to get up…”
Chet, lighting a fresh cigar as he starts to re-tell the story of how Frank Sinatra wanted to buy one of his trains and he wouldn’t sell.
Chet, sick and frail in his hospital bed on a Sunday morning this past August, looking over to me with a smile and telling me in a deliberate tone “I’m gonna start beating this thing on Wednesday.” To which I answered with my best Chet impression – “What the heck are you waiting ‘til Wednesday for?”
At the memorial service last week, in North Carolina, a wonderful woman stood up and shared that Chet was her “guardian angel”. You see, this woman was married to a man who contracted ALS – Lou Gehrigs Disease. And, that’s a very harsh, difficult illness for both the victim and the spouse. And, in this case, Jim liked to hunt and shoot and be in the outdoors. The debilitating nature of his illness was making that impossible until Dad starting taking Jim to the Trap Range. That gave Jim a chance to again do something he loved and be out with the boys. And it gave his wife, Bev, a chance to regroup herself and regain her strength for the difficult fight to care and support her beloved husband.
So, to all the young people here today, I would like to suggest that throughout your life, you can change and grow and make the world a better place by your actions. Chet’s life stands as an example to that. And, you can best honor my Daddy, Chet, by doing the following in your lives: Grow up to stand on your own two feet, so strong that when needed, you can carry others upon your shoulders. That will remind us all of Chet, at his best.
Chet:
A good son to his parents,A good brother to his sister and brother,
A good father to his kids – ALL his kids,
A great grandfather to his grandkids,
A fine husband – Twice,
A good buddy – Always.
For Dad memorial services:
- Brevard NC 10/27/02
- New Jersey 11/02/02
posted by tomwilk | 8:51 PM
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